who am i kidding?

有一些東西不見了 因為我沒有用心整理保護的關係...

當下覺得沒什麼的 現在卻成了遺憾 唉

很不想這樣 晚上情緒總是很濃

他去看深奧的電影 總是久久不能言語 然後在某個夜晚將情緒提煉成詩句

而我總是在情緒與白日工作間進退兩難 要點燃 還是熄滅

白日的工作是打仗 不停發射或擋子彈 頭腦不清楚就是死得難看 雖然明天同樣的日子又活一次

如同電影無限地重覆末日...

然後太多白癡事幹事不想做 真的沒時間做 自行查核我這次被兩個認真魔人追殺 好忙好厭世

(很閒也是會很厭世的 沒有那麼剛好的忙與剛好的閒 不能什麼都想要) 越來越習慣像擠乳溝一樣的把時間擠給運動 不管別人說什麼自己想要什麼很清楚 這樣的經驗一旦有了 下一次想執行什麼就會比較有那個信心與步驟 扯遠了 這是近期的小心得感想 可是我也知道我疏離了文字或電影 其實他們從來也不是我的好朋友 未曾長時間的維繫關係 所以當我情緒來的時候他們也幫不上我

I wanna record the conversation between Alicia and Ruth in The Good Wife S7 E11:

Ruth: I hope this campaign isn't over tomorrow. I'd really like to get to know you,  

     Alicia.

Alicia:Why?

R: You're.. interesting.

  You don't let things confuse you.

A: I'm not sure that's true.

  I used to think I knew what life was about, but I don't have a clue.

R: Cherish that moment.

  When you realize you don't know what life is about. That's truth.

A: You think you could ever be happy?

  If you had taken a ...left instead of right, or went up instead of down, you would

  been happy?

R: No.

A: Really?

R: You can't control fate. It's in your genes. Can't change that.

A: So whatever I do, whatever I did-- I'd end up right back here?

R: Well, maybe not here, but some place like here. At the end of every fork, there's a

  cliff.

  Go ahead, take "the road less traveled." You'll still find that cliff.